Our success in life is not just because of our hard work. Working hard on the right things is indeed tremendously important. But there is one more critical ingredient in this recipe.

I write a lot, but not much on what I am about to type. I am writing up this hoping to influence people in the right direction to succeed.

The other critical ingredient to success: Working with/for great bosses. Your boss can show you what the next stop is like. They can lift you up. But don’t expect people to be great out of nowhere.

Excellent relationships require both sides to be reasonable and human enough. Only two good people can build a great relationship. I always started my relationships with my bosses with two motivators in mind:

  • I am human, so is my boss. Even though we should be mentally strong and professional, there will always be times when we slip and make mistakes. We also both can use some support and a friendly smile.
  • There are things s/he knows better than me and I may not be able to understand everything behind a decision. This is not to be blindly submissive. It is to keep your mind open to alternative thoughts and ways so that you can learn.

A great relationship comes with a strong and deep purpose, and it is often not that complex or mechanical. We both try to make a living here. We have debts to pay, kids to feed, life to live, happiness to pursue, and dignity to keep. We want to succeed. We both don’t want to be crushed under stress and constant failures. We both want to grow into positions where we explore different aspects of our career paths. We both make mistakes; we both don’t know everything; we are afraid of things. If I succeed, so does my boss. If s/he succeeds, so does me.

This formula is not complex. It needs honesty, compassion, and vulnerability, but no drama, no blaming, no reverse delegation, no laziness. It requires passionate people on both sides who love their work and enjoy both personal and professional growth. I was lucky enough to work with great bosses throughout almost my entire career. Yes, I had some of those moments with them, but I always kept reminding myself of the fragility of our human natures. We are not immune to the tough tests live throws at us. Our kids get sick, we get sick, we lose someone dear to us, and all these ups and downs affect our emotional state. No matter how hard we try to keep our professional attitude, we slip sometimes. And it is essential to have compassionate people around us when that happens.

I learned a lot from my bosses. My 1:1s with them always almost went beyond simple problems. I was more interested in their experiences in failures and successes than my simple problems at work. Learning from their past experiences completed the answers in my mind to solve those pesky problems. And, I was mainly looking for long-term solutions than transient ones.

I do not suggest you not discuss your work problems in those 1:1s with your boss. You should and must if you need some answers. But, I always liked autonomy, which I believe is a critical element in a successful relationship with your boss. Part of our job is to take some of their burdens off their shoulders and distribute the load so that we can all succeed together.

Help is not a one-way street. It won’t come from your boss all the time or should come from you every time. It goes both ways. Perhaps, the most important help you can offer your boss is to alleviate their decision-making fatigue. The best help they can do for you is to be your sounding board and back you up when your well thought-out plans.

There are bad bosses out there similar to millions of evil people. However, it would be a shame to blame every boss we work for by default by not treating every one of them individually on their character. I worked for really caring bosses. They helped me as much as possible, and I gave them my best possible work.

If you want to win, always aim to win with your boss and team. It is the most humane and sincere type of win. Don’t leave any good soul behind. And success comes from this.

As we are getting to the end of 2021, I wish all of my past, current, and future bosses to have a wonderful 2022 ahead, and thanks for helping me, guiding me, enabling me to be better.